I did it today.
Ten years after I started having an affair with a woman, which I tried to break off on at least three prior occasions, I was able to get her to agree today that we had basically run out of steam and it was time for both of us to move on.
We were like Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor. We were madly in love, insanely jealous of each other; we had highs that were fantastic, and lows that were abysmal. While neither of us were prepared to leave our spouses, (we each had children), we did agree that if something happened to each of our spouses, we would move in together.
She dreamed of having a condo in the sky. I just dreamed of being with her.
Our previous potential breakups occurred over misunderstandings with each of our relationships with other people. My lady friend was an incredible flirt which really irritated me. On one occasion, I was prepared to take every gift she had ever given me, and pack it up in a box and dump them on her front lawn of her house and never talk to her again.
On other occasions, she would tell me about all the guys who used to chase her and the things they said. She thought we could talk about it. I couldn't understand how she would always allow herself to get into these situations. After all, when two guys are sitting on either side of you in the bar after a game of badminton, and both talking about French kissing and wanting to practise the European approach to greetings, which of course is a kiss on the cheeks, you didn't have to be there unless you wanted to be in my opinion.
She used to get mad at me for playing with a female partner in our badminton league for two years, and winning matches. She complained that the partner kept undoing the buttons on her blouses lower and lower each time she noticed her playing with me. I never even noticed it. I never even considered making a pass at her.
There was quite a disconnect between what I thought she was and some of the things she did. I told her that she could do what she wanted but she should make sure that I didn't find out about it. She could not help herself.
Eventually, I concluded that we could never live together.
I wanted to stop the relationship. Whenever I tried to end it, she would wail and cry and beg for me to talk to her. I always gave in.
Then I realized, that the only way to end the relationship was to see less and less of her as time went on. Fortunately, a couple of things happened to help that along. I needed a shoulder operation to fix a tear in some tendons, and so that meant that I could not play social badminton with her, and she had to undergo some surgery for a suspected tumor. Prior to the operation, as little as four months ago, we still got together for sex and dinner. It was always hard to say no to that offer, but she did think at one point I was going to cancel, and said that she would have got the message.
Anyway, today, we met up for coffee and it had been a month since we had last talked. (I invited her to meet up with me because I had something to give her.) She had some other issues taking up time in her life, and I told her that because of issues in my life that I would not be available for much of the year, (shoulder operation, moving office at work, etc).
I gave her a personalized memento of our last ten years together. I told her that if she didn't feel she could take it then I would keep it. She accepted it, and said she would always treasure it. She said she would always love me no matter what. I said the same to her. We kissed goodbye. She left.
That was a real happy ending for me.
So the question is, would I start up a new affair with another married woman? Well, for now, the answer is no. While I was in love with her, we just could not do all the things we would have loved to do. (We had travelled together on several trips over the course of the ten years). The sex was not as frequent as I would have liked, and that makes me think that anyone who flirts with her and thinks he is going to get lucky will get a disappointment rather than what he wants. That was just her nature.
What I will likely do is resort to the use of escorts to satisfy my sexual needs. That way, I will get what I want, and knowing that they are with other men too will not bother me at all.
I consider myself to be very lucky in this one. It was a great relationship, but it was not meant to be. And we both got out alive.
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